Alliedify

Say Less, Ask More, and Lead with Lasting Impact

Introduction

The Coaching Habit strips leadership down to its most powerful element: asking better questions. Michael Bungay Stanier challenges conventional management habits and replaces them with seven deceptively simple coaching questions that unlock growth, clarity, and self-reliance—without turning you into a full-time coach.

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Top 10 Lessons from The Coaching Habit

1. Coaching Is a Daily Leadership Habit—Not a Formal Event

You don’t need an hour-long session to make an impact. Great coaching happens in quick conversations, at the right moments. It’s not about adding more to your plate—it’s about changing how you lead during everyday interactions.

2. The Kickstart Question Opens Doors: “What’s on Your Mind?”

This is the gateway to meaningful conversation. It cuts through the surface and invites the other person to bring forward what really matters—without steering or solving too soon.

3. Stop Solving, Start Listening

As leaders, we’re wired to jump into solution mode. But the real value comes when we resist that urge. Stay curious a little longer. Solutions become stronger when they’re co-created, not prescribed.

4. The AWE Question Drives Clarity: “And What Else?”

This simple follow-up expands the conversation, surfaces new angles, and prevents premature conclusions. Most people stop at their first answer—this question keeps the insight flowing.

5. Be Comfortable with Silence and Uncertainty

Coaching is about holding space, not filling it. A few seconds of silence can trigger reflection. Uncertainty isn’t a problem to solve—it’s often a doorway to growth.

6. Tame Your Advice Monster

Your instinct to give advice feels helpful—but it’s often rooted in ego or habit. The Coaching Habit helps you recognize this reflex and replace it with curiosity, leading to more ownership and better outcomes for your team.

7. The Focus Question Cuts to the Core: “What’s the Real Challenge Here for You?”

This reframing turns vague problems into personal insights. It shifts the conversation from generic to specific, helping people zero in on what they can actually influence or change.

8. The Foundation of Coaching Is Trust, Not Control

People don’t grow when they’re micromanaged. They grow when they feel safe, seen, and supported. Asking powerful questions signals respect—and builds long-term trust.

9. Consistency Beats Intensity

Becoming a coaching-style leader isn’t about one big breakthrough moment. It’s about building small habits—day after day—that reshape how you communicate, delegate, and develop others.

10. Lead by Empowering, Not Directing

When you shift from telling people what to do to helping them figure it out themselves, you create leaders—not followers. And that’s what scales. Leadership becomes a ripple effect.