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How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World

In Getting More, Stuart Diamond, a globally recognized negotiation expert, offers a fresh and practical approach to negotiation that goes far beyond the traditional win-lose mindset. Drawing from years of experience coaching diplomats, CEOs, and everyday people, Diamond reveals that successful negotiation isn’t about dominating the other side — it’s about understanding human psychology, building trust, and creatively finding solutions that satisfy all parties.

Unlike rigid bargaining tactics focused on numbers and leverage, Getting More emphasizes emotional intelligence, empathy, and flexibility as the true drivers of successful deals. Diamond challenges the outdated assumption that negotiation is a battle; instead, he presents it as a dynamic process rooted in relationships and problem-solving.

Whether you’re negotiating a salary, closing a business deal, resolving conflicts, or navigating everyday interactions, this book equips you with actionable strategies to improve your outcomes without burning bridges. It’s a compelling guide for anyone looking to get more of what they want, ethically and effectively, in today’s complex world.

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🔑 Top 10 Lessons from Getting More by Stuart Diamond

1. Focus on What Really Matters to People

Understanding the other party’s priorities and concerns is the foundation of effective negotiation. It’s not just about money or terms—often, emotional needs and values play a bigger role.

2. Build Trust Through Authenticity

People negotiate with those they trust. Being honest, transparent, and genuinely caring about outcomes builds rapport and opens doors for collaboration.

3. Be Flexible and Creative

The best negotiators adapt and look for creative ways to expand the pie rather than just dividing it. Flexibility in approach often leads to better and longer-lasting agreements.

4. Use Standards and External Benchmarks

Bringing objective criteria into the conversation helps avoid personal bias and makes proposals more persuasive and fair.

5. Manage Emotions, Don’t Suppress Them

Recognizing and addressing emotions—yours and theirs—is critical. Emotional intelligence helps prevent conflicts from escalating and facilitates problem-solving.

6. Listen Actively and Ask Questions

Listening carefully and asking open-ended questions uncovers hidden interests and unspoken needs that can unlock new solutions.

7. Prepare Beyond Facts—Understand the Relationship

Preparation isn’t just about knowing the numbers; it includes understanding the history, culture, and context behind the negotiation and relationship.

8. Small Gestures Can Create Big Gains

Simple acts of goodwill, acknowledgment, or appreciation can shift the negotiation atmosphere and build goodwill.

9. Avoid Positional Bargaining

Clinging rigidly to positions narrows options and creates deadlocks. Focus on interests and shared goals instead.

10. Persistence Pays Off

Negotiation is a process, not a one-time event. Patience and follow-up often separate successful outcomes from missed opportunities.

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Final Thoughts

Getting More redefines negotiation as a collaborative, human-centered process that works in the real world—not just in theory or boardrooms. Stuart Diamond’s insights empower readers to approach negotiations with empathy, creativity, and practical tools that yield better deals and stronger relationships.

Whether you’re a seasoned professional or new to negotiation, this book offers a roadmap to consistently achieve your goals while maintaining integrity and mutual respect. In today’s interconnected and complex environment, Getting More is an essential guide for turning interactions into opportunities.