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When life doesn’t go as planned—and it rarely does—what’s your Option B?

That’s the central question Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg wrestled with after the sudden death of her husband, Dave Goldberg. In Option B, co-authored with Wharton psychologist Adam Grant, Sandberg shares a deeply personal yet universally relevant journey through grief, healing, and the power of resilience.

But this isn’t just a memoir. It’s a practical roadmap for anyone navigating adversity—be it personal loss, professional setbacks, illness, or trauma. Blending research in psychology with real-world stories, Option B provides a framework for rebuilding strength, finding support, and ultimately rediscovering joy when life forces you onto a path you never expected to take.

At its core, the book challenges the myth of bouncing back to “normal.” Instead, it argues for growing forward—forging a life of meaning, compassion, and grit not despite hardship, but because of it.

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🔟 Key Lessons from Option B by Sheryl Sandberg

1. You Can’t Bounce Back—You Can Only Move Forward

Resilience isn’t about returning to who you were. It’s about becoming someone stronger, wiser, and more open after loss. Growth doesn’t come from pain—it comes from how you respond to it.

2. The Three P’s That Trap Us in Grief

Psychologist Martin Seligman outlines three mental traps: personalization (“It’s my fault”), pervasiveness (“This affects everything”), and permanence (“It will always feel this way”). Learning to reframe these thoughts is the first step toward healing.

3. Resilience Is a Muscle—Build It Before You Need It

Just like physical fitness, emotional resilience grows with practice. Supportive relationships, self-compassion, and mindset shifts are tools you can strengthen before crisis strikes.

4. Start with the ‘Platinum Rule’

Don’t just treat others how you want to be treated—treat them how they need to be treated. In tough times, showing up means listening more than talking, and offering presence more than advice.

5. Joy and Sorrow Can Coexist

Happiness isn’t the absence of sadness. You can laugh even while grieving, and smile even when healing. Learning to hold both emotions allows us to live more fully.

6. Small Wins Matter More Than Big Fixes

When rebuilding after loss, it’s the tiny victories—getting out of bed, showing up to work, laughing once—that build momentum. Focus on daily progress, not dramatic change.

7. Ask “What Can I Do?” Instead of “Let Me Know If You Need Anything”

Support isn’t passive. Whether it’s bringing food, taking the kids, or just being present, offering specific help makes all the difference to someone navigating hardship.

8. Self-Compassion Is Not Self-Pity

Being kind to yourself isn’t weakness—it’s essential. Speak to yourself as you would to a friend. Especially in adversity, we must replace self-blame with self-care.

9. Organizations Need to Normalize Grief

Companies must create space for mourning—whether through bereavement policies, empathy from managers, or peer support. Resilient cultures recognize that employees are human first.

10. Option B Can Be Beautiful

Though we may mourn the life we thought we’d have, Option B can still be fulfilling, joyful, and even extraordinary. What we build after loss may not be the same—but it can still be meaningful.

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Final Thoughts

Option B isn’t just for those dealing with grief—it’s for anyone who’s ever felt derailed by life. Sandberg’s honesty and Grant’s research combine to offer something rare: a guide that’s equal parts raw emotion and actionable insight. It reminds us that even in our darkest moments, we have the power to reframe, rebuild, and re-emerge—more human, more compassionate, and more whole.