How to Talk to Customers & Learn if Your Business is a Good Idea When Everyone is Lying to You

Introduction

Rob Fitzpatrick’s The Mom Test is a practical, no-BS guide to validating startup ideas through smarter customer conversations. The core message? People lie—especially when they care about you. So your job as a founder is to ask questions in a way that gets to the truth, even when the answers are uncomfortable.


10 Key Lessons from The Mom Test


1. Stop Pitching—Start Listening

Most founders treat early conversations like a sales pitch. Big mistake. Customer discovery is about learning, not convincing. Talk less. Listen more. Let insights surface naturally.


2. Don’t Ask for Opinions, Ask for Stories

Instead of “Would you use this?” ask, “When’s the last time you tried solving this?”
Real behaviors > hypotheticals. People love to sound supportive, but actions tell the real story.


3. Compliments Are Useless

When someone says, “That sounds great!”—it feels good but tells you nothing. Ignore flattery. Dig for problems, not praise. You’re not looking for encouragement, you’re looking for proof of need.


4. Avoid ‘The Mom Test’ Questions

Your mom will lie to protect your feelings—and so will most people. Avoid questions like:

  • “Would you buy this?”
  • “Do you like the idea?”
  • “Would you use it if it existed?”
    These questions invite dishonesty and false validation.

5. Look for Existing Workarounds

The strongest signal that a problem is real? They’re already trying to solve it. Ask what they’re doing today. If there’s no workaround, maybe the pain isn’t big enough.


6. Talk About Their Life, Not Your Idea

Focus the conversation on their past behaviors, frustrations, and decisions. The more they talk about themselves, the more valuable the insight.


7. Keep It Casual, Keep It Short

You don’t need a formal interview. Grab coffee. Have a quick call. The best insights come when people aren’t “on the record.” Make it conversational, not scripted.


8. Always Ask for Specific Examples

Generalizations are worthless. Ask:

  • “Tell me about the last time this happened.”
  • “What did you do next?”
    The details reveal what really matters—and what’s just noise.

9. Extract Commitments, Not Just Words

The ultimate validation isn’t feedback—it’s commitment. That could be:

  • Pre-orders
  • Intro to a decision-maker
  • Time scheduled for a demo
    If they’re not investing something, they’re not serious.

10. Learning Is a Skill—Treat It Like One

Founders often overvalue product and undervalue process. Customer learning is a skillset that separates failed startups from funded ones. Mastering the art of asking the right questions can save you years of wasted work.

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